How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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