the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was like eating out sand paper
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
