He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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