My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
