YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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