You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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