i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
