8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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