Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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