I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
