i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
