i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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