Swine flu. Run for my life!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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