Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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