he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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