Only a mothe r could love this liver
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
