Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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