Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Found the puke drawer
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
