I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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