update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
