9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
