I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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