Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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