I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
