actually, I'm a sock model
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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