so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
