yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
