WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
