I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
