i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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