ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
