im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
