someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
