You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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