to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
