It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
