This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
