Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
