so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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