i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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