Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
