? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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