Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
