I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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