Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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