i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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