So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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