I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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