i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Randomize
