how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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