Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
