So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
